The Time Capsule Era

I let my guard down, again. Beckoned when needed, and I answered. But, as usual, when I am in need, left alone. And disappointed. My return on investment is negative. So, in return, I give what I have gotten.  Set up to be I heard your words There was no ‘I’m sorry’ We were both at fault I said my part But now, I keep an arm's length away

I'm a bit hungry, but not in that sense. Not in the nutritional form. I have food. I'm hungry for the metaphorical chocolate cake. That desire that is on the counter, under the glass globe with lock and key. This cake, filled with layers of decadence and fudge and delight will wreck what's considered already to be a house of cards. This hourglass figure, measurements of 36-24-36 would be destroyed, and yes, she's five-one.  But it's not in this house. Or that house. It's in another lifetime. And I do not want it to be there.  I guess, cookies will have to do. Hungered Captivate me      in your usual way Lemme think      about how to consume you Binge drink on thoughts Purge the emotions

So I Stand So I donated another ten minutes to you Gave into my last breaths Only to sacrifice my heart Waited ten minutes to hear I’m sorry I love you Walked away for one hundred minutes To confide in the car Which blows my mind to pieces Like ashes in the wind And leaves in autumn breezes Carelessly here and there  Stood alone Here by a statue of a man Holding his head in hands Waiting to be taken to war Away by casualty By hostage By love By wind By me. 

Time to change it up s little bit. Artists play with different mediums. I found myself trying with words and magnets. A word search among the thousand that came in the box.  This goddess, she'd make you insane with her pleasures, if given an opportunity. And, no, not in those ways.  Let her speak to you, let that voice fill your ears and capture your mind. You know you want to become intoxicated by this spell she casts... Only later, can you become in sync with her magic. 

And I am not one.  Gold and Silver Plated Childhood fairy tales and easy dreams silver spoon images add some cocaine and divorce you come out with a wonderful life everything is as sweet as sugar In Reality. 

Unrequited. Not reciprocated. Unreturned. Unwanted.  Un. Not. No.  When you give in, at times, all in, and get nada back. R.O.I. is defunct! Not just referencing love. But, those friendships. The job. The everyday.  Ever ask someone 'How are you' and don't get the same in response? It's amazing. I'm fine. Thanks. How about you?!  Common human interaction and decency.  Where did this go? When did people just stop asking and being genuine? So many people have this tendency to be enveloped within themselves, it's kind of appalling. I know that I may not always be in touch, but, I am considerate, mindful of others lives.  Unrequited I’ve made myself small Like a used tissue, Gum wrapper foil, Cellophane from your cigarette pack You could carry me in your pocket Unnoticeable But a necessity to toss 

I am back to questions. The mind will wonder. It's inevitable. This, another mindless jot from the way back book, leaves me still to wonder. All of the what ifs, the would have, should have, could haves that we all share. Sometimes, if I had the ability to have Doc and Marty, it would not be for some lucky book.  Is the grass greener on the other side, maybe. What's really behind those white picket fences?  And other times, I would like to just shake my head like an Etch-a-Sketch and erase all of it. Artistic amnesia, I would call it.  Questioning the Possibilities What do you do when the clock and the calendar lose their  meaning for changing  fate?

Pondering It has crossed my mind that U and I  Are not together In the alphabet Or life I have often wondered If the ending was a mistake. Maybe. 

 Let me start with a huge *sigh*.  Funerals suck. Expected or unexpected. We've all been to at least one. My earliest that I recall, I'll share below. I have few moments where I've actually just stopped. I know exactly what I was doing when the bomb was dropped. Doing dishes, folding laundry, having a drink with friends talking with friends during the passing. All because I could not be there. As much as I wanted to be. Life happens. Death, is inevitable.  Losing loved ones is always hard. Losing friends who just are a light in your life, that's another gut kick. I have friends who are more family than family is. We all do. We're human. You can pick your friends, not your family. Sometimes, I am so grateful and blessed for this aspect. That's another story, I may share, I may not. Time will tell.  Time. That's something that seems to be on repeat throughout this blog - maybe? Again, how do I get a few more hours without consuming, what I am sure is very unhe...